Rupees, Dollars and Daughters.

Okiema, I’m no mind reader. Yet I kind of know what’s running in your head right now. Sounds like a perfect title for a sizzling, hot, romantic sensation by yet another megalomaniac Indian author. That’s not exactly what it is. And the truth as it ought to be, sucks even worse.

It starts like this. One day… No. Every other day, I stumble into one of these otherwise ambitious, self-respecting blokes, whose ultimate accomplishment lies in locating an NRI boy for his daughter, sister, niece or any other girl he’s concerned for. All I have to tell these idiots is that I pity their working-class intelligence. Or better say the lack of it.

I am not even willing to talk about the wonderful women who forge these mega alliances. The platoons of aunts who, until that day you never knew existed; whose lives’ sole purpose is to find NRI Boys: The Fixers. The only thing they stop from doing is forecast the economic growth of all those concerned for the next five years and circulate them in PDF formats.

“She’s such a fine girl; see she’s so fair and good-looking; she’s good in her studies; and takes care of the house so well! She’ll surely get an NRI boy.” I’ve heard it from even before I could understand what marriage meant. It’s really sad that even Indian bride grooms need the words IMPORTED and INTERNATIONAL to become marketable commodities. Will someone ask these poor jokers why their tall, fair, well-educated, broad-minded, homely girls simply can’t marry a resident Indian?

What about those who didn’t make it to the engineering colleges; who didn’t apply to foreign universities; who didn’t get a single on-site project; and more importantly, the ones who chose to do other things in life? Yeah, the kinds who chose to become copywriters, art directors and advertising executives. Are they all expected to live single and die single?

Thankfully, I consider myself lucky to be married and this really doesn’t concern me now. Yet, I really can’t fathom how it works. Sometimes I even think we should banish all the young men from our country, so that one day or another, they can return as eligible bachelors.

If only dollar pay-cheques made men better husbands on and off the bed, I would personally advocate this “NRI Boy” philosophy to the extent of supporting polygamy. Till date, I’ve known scores of supposedly lucky girls who found themselves NRI husbands and more trouble than they ever imagined. I think all what matters is to see a girl happily-married, with a guy who loves her and who’d give his life for her. Speak up people. If the idea is about travelling abroad and getting free acco, try Google. It’s safer.